Mirror, Mirror

There will be days where I will look in the mirror and wonder who the person staring back at me is. Then there will be days where I catch my reflection off guard and smile (sometimes I even wave) thinking I’ve seen a well-loved friend only to realise that in fact it’s a reflection of me. Moments like this make me wonder what happens in between recognising myself as a friend and seeing myself as a stranger.

Do the off guard moments show me how I really perceive myself? If that’s true then does that mean the few times I’ve seen myself and thought ‘gosh, she’s pretty’ mean i am actually pretty or just plain old vain?Is it the process of finding yourself? Have I ‘found’ myself when i recognise myself as a friend? Or do I just need to start wearing specs, I mean who the hell see’s a reflection of themselves yet fails to instantly recognise themself?!

Oh feck.

I lost my notebook so started writing thoughts/ideas etc on napkins. Then I got a cold which led to a runny nose, I ran out of tissues and used the napkins. Goodbye self discovery and hello mindless chatter…

My First Day

I had my first day at work today without even knowing it was my first day. Ok so it was more of an induction day but whatever I was in school from 8 – 5, how can I not count it as a working day? I’m tried and have a list the length of my arm to get through but I want a reminder of today so here goes…

Do you know how people say ‘you don’t know hard it is until you actually do it?’, No? you’ve never heard that saying? That might be because I just made it up. Before now I honestly thought I was ready to have my own class and do the job I’ve trained for four years. I was excited to start making a difference and become the very best teacher I could possibly be.

 

Now I’m not so sure.

 

I’ve been overloaded with information on assessment, planning and strategies and suddenly the responsibility of it all has hit me. I am now responsible for the learning of 30 children. 30 children. THIRTY children. Me, I’m responsible for their learning.

Lord Almighty give me strength and help me finish my arm long list!

Thank You Lord!

There will come a time when I am down and lost, a time when I need a reminder of the Lord who provides. When that time comes I want to be able to look back on this moment, this moment that will now become my ‘about’ feature. Right now life is pretty damn good!

I’m a young, happily married primary school teacher whose bills are all paid and up to date, whose car is full of petrol, who has breakfast every morning for the first time in years,who has a holiday to look forward to and who also has cherry flavoured mouthwash. Pretty.Damn.Good!!

Follow the yellow brick road!

Recently I’ve found myself relating life back to the Wizard of Oz. There’s a yellow brick road that I need to be on but somehow I always seem to get distracted. My curiosity leads me away from the road, I’ll frolic with the birds and the bees, smell a few flowers, climb a tree or two but the fun will slowly and unexpectedly end. The birds will no longer chirp, the flowers won’t smell as sweet and the trees will disappear. Its then that I remember the safety of the yellow brick road, the road I need to be on.

After much searching, and with a sense of direction like mine this wasn’t an easy task, I’ve finally found the yellow brick road again. So before I continue my journey, I want to stop and commit this moment to memory. I want to soak up the trails and tribulations, reflect on where I went wrong and bask in the warm glow of finding my yellow brick road again.

Finally I know where I’m supposed to be going. It’s time to reap what I’ve sown and the amounts of goods available are surprising me. So far I have youth, health, love, passion, friendship and family, along with the recent accumulation of the job of my dreams.  Surely that’s enough to help me stop going astray again…?